Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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Lets just say, that I can tell anyone that my brother is one of the top leaders for Interpol (here in the nation we reside in) and that while I do not have the required education to work for interpol, I have connections with them, which allows me to work, well... Yeah, Central.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

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What do you call a hamburger with nothing inside of it? A virgin.

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b

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

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What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops