Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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read me write me

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

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What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

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Jesse likes to jack off and lick the white stuff off of his balls and digest it

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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Whats worst than being raped by a black guy? Being raped by two black guys? You racist i'm calling the police.

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Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo Boo who? I don't have a last name, it's just Boo

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knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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