I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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What do you call a panda without a head? Dead.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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What's funny about four black guys driving off a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends...

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Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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So a guy gets drunk and walks into a gay bar by accident He then yells I LOVE PENIS!!!!! everyone yells oh yeaaaaaaaaaa

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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