A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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