A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...