why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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Man says, "Hello" Girl, "Do you wanna go out?" Man, "With you?" Girl, "YES!" Man, "NO, bye!"

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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