4/20 is a holiday just like Christmas.. I lied you just get baked

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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Who kills babies? A baby killer? No. I do.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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ERROR 3045: This joke has gone bankrupt and Is laying in the hospital//:: THE CAUSE: OBAMA CARE

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

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Why is it hard to see a black man in the night? Because its dark out, and he's BLACK.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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