You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

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american idol

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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star wars kid

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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