Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

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why did the girl have pink hair? because she died it purple, but it didn't work.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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