Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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No antijoke here.

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops