Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Did you hear about the fire at the circus? A: It was in tents!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

TWO PADDIES PASS A PUB

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

thumb_up thumb_down -7

(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops