Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

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Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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