Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

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Cripples are lame.

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops