Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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school homewrok

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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