when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

Why cant a black person read? Because there is nothing to read...

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

Q: What did Michael Jackson do while he was preparing for his newest world tour? A: He died.

In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

The man walked into the church and stayed there.

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

High enough to know that fucking IQ is a terrible way to measure the total potential of the mind, which is potentially limitless depending on the person`s contact and control over the subconscious state.

Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

*insert corny "a man walks into a bar" joke here*

Hey "Oren" its Red, sorry but I got to go now. How you been doing? Kinda missed you over here. So you actually care about how you sound now?

How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

My jeans

cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer

what do you call a pie in a roll a roll and pie

Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...