Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

A miserable man committed suicide.

A man drives home from a bar one night, He is under the influence and his reckless driving will costs many innocent people their lives.

What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

why did the black man drink grape kool-aid kool-aid refreshed him after a hard days work out in the field picking cotton

If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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