What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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