A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

When life throws knives at you, run away.

what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

whats white and black, and red all over, kiren poping jacob cherry

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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