Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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A black guy and a white girl are having sex. The white girl screams "I'm pregnant!!!!" The black guy says "i'll help you take care of it" "I love you sweetie and nothing will come between us"

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Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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A muslim paints Mohammed

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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What does greg and Ian have in common?

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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