Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your moms so stupid she ate all the food in the grocery store

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A beautoful poem: Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun! gimme all your money!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb? MORE GUNS!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops