Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

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How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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What did the black man see when he looked in the mirror? His reflection.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops