How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

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Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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