What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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