Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red pain is spilled on it.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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