Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunett: i don't know Blonde: NOBODY KNOWS!!!

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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My three children are three big mistakes.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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roses are red poo is poo

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How do you piss off a moose? You throw popcorn at it

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops