Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Let's say you're inside a building and you are lost. You need to find directions to get out. But the building is so big almost like a maze or labyrinth. You start walking until you see 2 doors and each door is guarded by a man. Now in between the 2 doors is a message on the wall. It says: "Dear friend, I assume that you are lost and want to get out. There is hope! You have an option to choose one of these doors guarded by these men. You may ask one of these men which door leads to freedom. However, 1 guard ALWAYS tells a lie and 1 guard ALWAYS tells the truth. If you are to choose the wrong door, you will be locked in the building forever. So choose wisely and ask the right question. Good luck! Sincerely, the owner of the building." So you think to yourself and try to figure out what the hell did you get yourself into. This is a very tricking situation. You have one liar and one honest man. How can you tell which is lying and with is telling the truth? After minutes of confusion and thinking, you have finally decided to ask one guard a question. ----spoiler alert----- So you ask the guard one question. "What would the other guard say is the door to freedom?" The guard said "This door" You choose the opposite door and you are now free. The End [Explanation: You have 2 doors. Let's say door A is losing and door B is winning. If you ask the liar what would the other guard say, he we lie and say door A. So you pick the opposite door, which door B and you win. Now if you ask the truth teller what would the other guard say, he we tell the truth and say the same answer, door A. So you pick the opposite door and win]

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? That's the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

thumb_up thumb_down -2

This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's green and red? A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops