- Anti Joke

An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken was locked in a cage and the nearest intersection is about a mile away.

Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

Once a upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She rubbed a magic lamp and a genie appeared. Then a guy named Larry Harry walks into a laundry mat. 7 days later she died.

What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

AIDS

What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

Why did Michael Vick run? Because he was being chased by defenders.

Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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