How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I found my car in the lot with a broken tail-light and a note under the windscreen wipers. I accidentally reversed into your car, Lots of people saw me do it. They all think I'm writing down my name and details, Well, I'm not.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the man lying on the pavement? He was hit by a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I think everybody should have a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? To be eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the English man walk into a bar? Do get an alcoholic beverage to temporarily forget the pain of his recent divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down -7

*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

when life gives you lemons throw them away.. they are probably bad

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops