two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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an islamic man with a strange bag walk into thr airport. he is probably heading toward his flight like any other person.

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Sex

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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