what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

12 in general

Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances, one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends PS: the one above was wrong sorry :(

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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