Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

Justin Bieber

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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