What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

What's the worst part about eating a dead baby? It's a tie between the smell, the taste, and the depression associated with whatever decline in humanitsy that has brought you to this point in your life. Overall, it's an outright terrible situation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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