Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

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Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's better if you don't understand

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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Two scuba divers are playing cards on the bottom of the ocean. One asks "have you got amy threes?" Then they both die from maintained exposure to the incredible pressure at the bottom of the sea. One left behind three children.

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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