When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Ross.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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Dwarf Shortage

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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What's the difference between a duck? Both legs are of equal length, especially the right.

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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