Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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Why did the car crash? The driver was female.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

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a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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