Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

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Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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Pete and Repeat are sitting on a bridge, Pete fell off and Repeat still hasn't been able to forgive himself for pressuring Pete to join him on such a perilous perch.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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What do you call a black person pimping out his bitches? a dog breeder.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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