Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

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When Glenn looks in the mirror all he sees is Nicole Sipes.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

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What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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What did the tree say to the kite? She got hit by a fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops