How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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What is orange and sticky? A blue ice cream with no skeletal structure Hang on, Ice Creams don't talk and the ice cream wasn't even yellow!

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What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

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Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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