Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? because it got shot before it could get there.

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roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Women.

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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Josh is sooo great at blowing, xoxo Dylan Hodge.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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