what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari. A Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops