Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Q: Whats red and circular? A: A red circle

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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roses are black violets are black i am blind

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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