Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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