what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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my ilkshake brings all the boys in the yard. and the local health inspector's like , have you got a permit to be selling dairy beverages from a home based business?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

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Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

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Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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