Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

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Roger D. ASS , stops, has a ponder , and walks out of a s.t.i clinic ,without being seen

How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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