Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

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What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

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"This is what kind of fail class?" "AN EPIC FAIL!"

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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