A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

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What do you call a Black White supremisist? Well you see the Black man was blind and thought he was a racists redneck. He then contracted cancer.

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How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops