What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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Lindsay Lohan

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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This Irishman walked into a pub and then drank hard liquor for the next 3 hours.

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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I see London. I see France. Show me your boobs.

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Dylan F is stupid He goes to his cousins house Then falls into a pit Moves on

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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