Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when hit by an ice cream truck

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What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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Why are they the "living" daylights?

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops