Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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Grace Ackerson

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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Lindsay Lohan

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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