What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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a man was shot.... he died

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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