What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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I have an idea! You leave.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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