Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

My jeans

An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

whats sad about 4 black guy drivein off a cliff in a cadalic a wast of good cadalic

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

Why was the little boy sad Because he has depression from his father beating him over and over every time he comes home from school...

what's inflation? a hollow cost.

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area. He stops for lunch and heads home.

What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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