What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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Who was the best Call of Duty World at War Player? A: Hitler he had 6 million kills and only 1 death

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Dogs don't have thumbs.

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Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

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how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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what did the boy say to his mum when he got home from school nothing he has no tongue

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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