What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops