What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

9/11 my birthday

What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

i'm hard

13 =B you just learned something

Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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