What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

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Whats worse than biting an apple with a worm in it? Getting stabed until you died and being fed to your own children....... twice

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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I have a really funny joke.

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A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? alot of things, worms don't taste that bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops