How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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whats worst then dieng in a videogame

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Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops