how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 encountered 7 in the Vietnam War where he killed 6's brothers, leaving him scarred. 6 has countless nightmares due to the numerous visions that reminisce that situation in great deal. Also, 7 had a big hook on his hand, which was very scary.

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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who is an indian that can not shoot a bow and arrow? David

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Whose your daddy? Not me

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What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

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What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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