How many republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? CHANGE?????

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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